Tomorrow

It is so so so hard to be present. To live in the moment. We have so much pulling at us. So many distractions. And the future. It’s so ….. unknown.

Mamas worry about their babies. If we want to do what the good Lord says, and not worry, we have to fight hard. And even still, the scary thoughts creep in. They often take us by surprise.

When Caleb was a baby and well into his toddler years, I had trouble sleeping. I was so busy during the day. I could push the bad thoughts away. At least for a minute or two. But at night, as I tried to relax…. well, I just couldn’t. Terror. Actual terror. It would take hold of me. All the thoughts would come crashing in at once. I couldn’t even discriminate one from another…. It was an interstate pile-up in my mind.

Do you know what I worried about a lot? Middle school. How bizarre is that? Caleb was so little. But that was just it. I knew he wouldn’t always be little. I knew that he would one day be big. And kids can be so mean. Especially in middle school.

I shouldn’t have worried. I mean I REALLY shouldn’t have worried. Because Caleb is finishing up his middle school experience. And everything is ok. Beyond ok. Amazing actually. But more importantly, I shouldn’t have worried because the Bible tells me so…

^{Matthew 6:34}  “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I don’t know if you have read all of my blog posts. It’s crazy to me that you are reading this one. But, I have mentioned before that my starting point is often in the middle. So, here goes…

Yesterday, I brought Caleb to school. I also brought treats. Cake Pops to be exact. I can make some mean cake pops. I know that sounds like bragging… because it is.

Celeste (a precious teacher’s assistant) was waiting on us to escort Caleb inside. I walked to the classroom too because I was not about to trust Caleb to hold cake pops. (He was eyeing them the whole ride over). We walked past the principal, Mr. Edmonds. He said, “Hi Caleb!” Caleb said, “Hi! You say my name?” ……..Do you know what Celeste told me? Mr. Edmonds gives a shout out to Caleb during the school-wide announcements! Seriously?! I can’t even. That is just next level.

There are the people that do their jobs. There are the people that do their jobs well. Then there are the people that are next level. That has been my experience at Farragut Middle School. Next level.

Caleb has been loved so big. By everyone. So, in case you don’t know…. special education is no joke. There are so many levels and parts and people. Each child in the program has special needs. That means they all have different needs. Very different. Each child has an IEP. An Individualized Education Plan. And you wouldn’t believe how specific it is. There are goals set for that child. So many goals. Caleb’s current IEP is 25 pages long. And the goal is for all the goals to be met.

Caleb’s special ed team is so extra. So next level. So above and beyond. These people love Caleb and all of his special friends. They love them in the way that suits them best. They do it with every bit of themselves. They do whatever is required. When it is gross. When it is exhausting. When it is the same thing day after day. And they do it with all the love in their heart.

The regular ed teachers. They have included Caleb. They have included his special friends. They modify in a way that is meaningful. They are happy that Caleb is singing at the top of his lungs (and extremely off key) in chorus. They are thrilled that he creates something that he is proud of in art, even when it makes an insane mess. They are ecstatic to include him in basketball games in PE…. And on and on. At IEP meetings, there always has to be a regular ed teacher. It’s the law. But you know what, those teachers always really know Caleb. They are not just there to check a box. They actually know and love Caleb.

The administration. Who would think that they would have such an impact on my child through actual relationships? Yep. They actually took the time. To really know him. So many times this year people commented to me on Mr. Edmonds and his love for Caleb. That man is the principal of a huge school. But he cares. And Ms. Hamlett (8th grade principal), next level. She stepped in and worked in Caleb’s classroom. A lot. Because someone had to. And she did it well. With all the love. She got it done.

The “typical” students (AKA regular ed students). Well, now I have official tears in my eyes. Just today, this actual day, I received a phone call requesting that Caleb please come to the 8th grade banquet. Because the kids want him there. Because they love him. I got to tell Caleb about that phone conversation tonight at dinner. I got to tell him how much his friends want him there. Then, I got to tell him there will be UNO. Man, I wish I had taken a video of his response. Priceless.

Middle School. When I think about it, I get all the warm fuzzies. I’m sure it’s always been that way. 🙂