Sunshine Soldier

I am always completely shocked when I am out in the world and someone tells me that they read Sunshine Soldier. I write because I love to write. But I’m not gonna lie, it’s nice to know some people are reading it.

Lately, my readers (it feels insanely weird to type that) are telling me what they enjoyed reading about the most. FYI, Caleb and Owen captured the hearts of so many. But also, several people have requested that I write about the following. So, here goes.

I am running the Boston Marathon on April 15, 2024 (Lord willing). You might think that is the least interesting fact in the world. If so, you won’t offend me in the least when you don’t read the posts in this series.

For those of you who are still with me, I am excited to share this journey with you. I trained so hard to qualify. When I did, that was a really big deal to me. But, it has surprised me that so many seem to agree.

For those of you who don’t know, runners have to qualify to run the Boston Marathon. That is known as getting a “BQ”. And it ain’t easy. The Boston Athletic Association has an official list of qualifying times for age and gender. Basically, you have to run a Boston Qualifying Marathon (Knoxville is one). You have to finish it in under the listed BAA time. If you do that, you are able to submit your time to the BAA for review. Once they receive all registrations they will limit the running field to a specific size by implementing a cut-off time. For 2024 that is a 5:29. So that means that runners have to finish their qualifying marathon in 5 minutes and 29 seconds less than the original listed qualifying time. It’s no joke.

I have been a runner for the vast majority of my life. I love the 5k, the 10k and the half marathon. But, I had no interest in the marathon. Until I did. From out of nowhere, the marathon bug bit me. It was completely out of my control. I was a victim. 😉

My official 20 week Boston Marathon Training Plan begins on November 27th. I am currently in base training. That means I am incorporating a lot of running, including long runs, into my exercise routine so that I am ready to start the plan. Through base training, I am already learning that this training cycle will be quite challenging. I am homeschooling which means my runs need to be really early most days.

I am happy to answer specific questions about my personal thoughts and experiences in regard to marathon training. You are welcome to ask them in the comments section.

We all have idols. I have a history of making exercise an idol. For those of you who are in my daily life, hold me accountable! My time with the Lord should be my top priority. My husband and children and family and friends are second. I should be serving and encouraging others. I should be doing all the one anothers!

I love relationships. I value them so much. And I invest in them. But, I can’t fast track them. I want to. If there is potential for deep connection, I want to get there.

I have so many amazing relationships in my life. And each one is a blessing straight from the Lord. I have friends. I have parents. I have neighbors. I have the world’s sweetest husband. And I am a mother. Of the 5 most unique and precious souls that I can imagine.

Ryan and I are parents to Caleb (18), Silas (15), Cheyenne (13), Collin (10) and Alexa (9). Our children are remarkable. It’s a fact.

Our younger 3 children came to us 4 1/2 years ago. It was a lot. On all of us. We wanted so much for them to feel apart of our family. We set right out to make some memories. And honestly, that was the right call.

The first year as a family of 7 was so much work. Physical work and emotional work. We were all exhausted. The second year things got a little easier. A big part of that was that our newest additions knew what to expect. And they had done all the things. Once. They had experienced Christmas, birthdays, Easter, 4 seasons, etc.

Here we are. 4 1/2 years in and the connections run so deep and so wide. There are a lot of reasons for that. But a big one is shared memories. They bond us so much in relationships. Our family had so few “remember the time” stories in the beginning. But now, they are constant. And we are thriving on them.

Wow. What a day. I think we have lived weeks in the last 15 hours. But the good Lord was with us. As always. And he sustained us. As always.

Caleb was amazing. He loved having all of his siblings with him. And everyone who met him loved it for him. Again and again people were so touched by the whole situation. And all the love.

Cincinnati Children’s is amazing. They continue to find the pieces of the Caleb puzzle and put the picture together. Piece by piece. In the Lord’s timing.

Today another piece was found. The scope was definitely the right call. Caleb’s esophagus is a hot mess. It is scarred and damaged and even has an ulcer. All of that is likely indicative of a condition called Eosinophilic Esophogitis. That was not the news we expected but it is good news. Because it is treatable.

Caleb made it. We didn’t fast forward. We endured. And we are stronger for it. Thank you for praying our family through a long day.

We just stopped for lunch at the Kentucky State Arboretum. It is gorgeous. We snagged a picnic table for the eaters. Caleb and I enjoyed walking the grounds. Alexa and Si took turns walking with us.

The trip so far has been really smooth. Caleb has been mostly calm. Thanks to sweet Alexa. She talks to him and snuggles him and entertains him constantly.

Please pray for us as we approach Cincinnati. Caleb’s anxiety will likely amp up as we get closer. Pray that the Lord will draw near.

Sometimes I just wish I could fast forward to the end of a day. This is definitely one of those days. The 7 of us are driving to Cincinnati so that Caleb can get a scope of his esophagus. His gastroenterologist is trying to figure out what in the world is going on. Caleb’s reflux is currently out of control. And it shouldn’t be. He is medicated. We cut his food up tiny. He eats dinner at 4:30 so that his food has plenty of time to digest before bed. We divide each meal into fourths and set timers so that it takes him 20 minutes to eat. He sleeps on an incline. It’s a lot. And it’s not working.

We waited until this morning to tell Caleb. It feels a little mean. And yet necessary. Otherwise he would not have slept a wink last night. He got up this morning ready for his glass of strawberry milk. Nope. Not only that, he can’t eat anything until after the scope which doesn’t even start until 3:45 pm. Guys, it’s gonna be a long day. And it’s exactly what the Lord has for us.

Please pray for sweet Caleb. Pray that he will be calm and when he is not, that he will be consolable. Please pray for answers. The expectation is that his esophagus is closing due to scar tissue from the reflux. That happened almost exactly 2 years ago. And honestly, we hope that’s what they find. It is fixable and the alternative is square 1. That’s my least favorite square. 😉

Please pray for patience for all of us, especially Alexa. This will be the hardest on her. She loves Caleb so much and feels for him so deeply. Also, she is the greatest comfort to him and she takes that responsibility very seriously.

I love that we never really know what a day will bring. I plan and I plan. But of course I am never really in control. And that’s a good thing.

This afternoon, I suddenly found myself with just Caleb. That’s rare. So, I fed him his early dinner (he eats at 4:30!) and we headed out to run some errands.

Caleb loves running errands with me. It is rare to get my undivided attention. But, more importantly, he will likely make some new friends. Caleb loves new friends. And he is master at making them. When people fall for him, they fall hard, and instantly. And it is often the most unlikely of people. The roughest and toughest men turn into a pile of goo in the hands of Caleb. It is one of the greatest joys of being Caleb’s mom. Watching him work his connection magic.

So today, I was prepared for some new friends. But God had something better in mind. An old friend.

Owen.

Caleb and Owen have been friends for more than 10 years. They absolutely adore each other. They take care of each other. They know each other. There is no anger or jealousy or record of wrongs. There is only love. Pure love.

On our way to get Caleb a haircut, he was talking about Owen (or O-wee in Caleb speak). When we walked into Great Clips and Owen was sitting there… well, there are just not words. It was the sweetest reunion even though they had been apart for all of 2 hours. Precious. Owen was done with his haircut, but was happy to watch Caleb get his. Stop it. It’s just too sweet.

As I watched the two of them together I thought about God’s design of friendship. It’s so beautiful. Especially in it’s purest form. You know what, we have A LOT to learn from these two. These masters of connection…

In 2012, Caleb had bilateral foot reconstruction. It was so much. The surgery itself was absolutely horrific (I wrote about it in a post called “Trauma and Triggers). Once we got through that I thought the worst was over. Not exactly. Every two weeks I had to drive my sweet little 6 year old boy back to Nashville from Knoxville (a 3 hour drive). Once we arrived the cast crew would get out their insanely loud saw and cut Caleb’s casts off both of his feet. Then, a physical therapist would come in and stretch his feet into the desired position. The PT and cast guy would work together to get him recasted into this new and excrutiating foot position. Then, they would send us on our way. Yep. That’s right. A 3 hour drive back home to Knoxville.

As you can imagine, it got worse and worse every time we made the trip. Because we both knew what to expect. I remember the road feeling so incredibly long. It was my job to comfort Caleb the whole way there and the whole way home. Oh. And restrain him in between. I was so weary.

And life with Caleb has continued to be a long road. So many doctors. So many appointments. So many decisions. But mostly, so many blessings.

Enter Si’s traumatic brain injury. Another long road. Both literally and figuratively. The accident happened over 15 months ago. His recovery has been an absolute miracle. We are so very thankful. When Silas was discharged after 20 days in the hospital I thought the hardest part was over. But, it has been a lot. On so many levels.

Two days ago Si’s doctor in Cincinnati asked us to come to a Traumatic Brain Injury clinic that is happening tomorrow at Cincinnati Children’s. So, at 8 am in the morning we will hit the road. The long road to be exact.

Silas has been absolutely amazing every single step of the way. He never complains about his double vision. He wears his eyepatch or prism glasses even though they both give him a headache. He even tolerates all the pirate jokes. He sees God’s hand on his life and wants to bring Him glory. Always. But, the road IS long. And we sometimes grow weary.

Please pray for us. Please pray for safety. Please pray for renewed energy. Please pray for answers. Please pray for hope. Please pray that we, as mother and son, can shine our lights so brightly for Jesus. Please pray that we look for God’s provisions, because if we do, we will most definitely find them.

Eighteen years ago I was given the honor of being mama to one of God’s most unique creations. My heart. It melts every time he says, “I love you so much my mommy.”

It has been a journey. And sadly, there were times I forgot to trust in the Lord. There were times I felt actual despair. But the good Lord, in his goodness, drew near.

And God used those early years. They were not lost. They gave me so much compassion in my heart for others.

I have absolutely loved being Caleb’s mom. I love to make him laugh. I love it even more when he makes me laugh. I love that I can comfort him when no one else can. I love that I get him deeply. I love listening to him sing. I love that his two favorite songs are “10,000 reasons” and “the ABCs”. I love watching him meet people for the first time. And how he makes his way right to their hearts. I love watching him with his people. And there are many.

Happy birthday to our sweet Caleb! You are a joy to the hearts of all who know you! We have loved celebrating you for the last 2 days!

That was May 29, 2022. Two days before Si’s accident. We were celebrating Samson’s birthday. We do that every year. We know it’s silly. But it’s a tradition!

We had absolutely no idea what was coming less than 48 hours later. We had no idea that absolutely everything was about to change.

And we never know what the future holds. But God always does. He is never surprised. He is never thwarted. He equips us for what He has for us. He is always with us. He loves us with the purest love that never ever ceases.

Now for May 29, 2023. Another celebration of Samson. It is hard to fathom all that transpired in just one year. But God knew. From the beginning of time. He was in every single detail.

As you may know, today is the actual one year anniversary of the accident. We talked a lot over the last few weeks about how we wanted to spend the day. How we wanted to celebrate all that the Lord has done. And honestly, we made the perfect choice. Silas and I rode electric bikes all over Farragut. 25 miles to be exact. We stopped for lunch at La Parillas. Um yes please. Tonight, we had the sweetest little cookout with family and Si’s dear friend Braden (the one who was at camp with him). We all took a long walk after dinner. We had some pool time. Perfection.

Thank you all so much for praying for us. Thank you for caring. Thank you for coming alongside us in this journey. Thank you for sharing in all the joy and in all the sorrow. The Lord has used you in a mighty way.

And once again, here is sweet Si’s testimony. I know you will be so blessed by it.

“My Testimony” — by Silas