We are very structured at our house. And I love that. We have schedules and systems and we thrive on them. Our children have snack times, reading times, meal times and bedtimes. Just to name a few. We have allowances, technology tickets and the simplest of all systems… a dinner bell!
I put a lot of time and energy into running our home as smoothly as possible. Because that’s what it takes.
But sometimes. None of it matters. Sometimes one of my children needs me to stop. To listen all the way. To hear their heart at the most “inconvenient” of times.
This week. One of my babies crumbled. All of the hurts came to the surface.
I never know when that is going to happen. It’s almost always unpredictable. It’s ALWAYS at the worst time.
I wish I could say that I stopped right away. Nope. Honestly, I didn’t even see it as an option. I had to make dinner. I had 7 people to feed.
But, it became obvious very quickly that it was the only option. To stop. To be completely still.
As I sat there, holding this sobbing child, all I could think about was that I was falling behind. That sounds so awful, but it’s true. But God is so very good. And in His goodness, I quickly identified that this was exactly where the Lord had me. And I settled in.
I begged the Lord for wisdom. I begged Him for words. And he supplied. He always does. When we ask in faith.
I was able to point this sweet child right to Christ. We talked about His great love for us. We talked about how He guides our steps and numbers our days. We talked about trusting in Him and trusting where He has us. We talked about how we want control so badly. And that’s not ok. God is in control. It doesn’t matter what we want or what we would have done differently. It only matters what God has done, what He is doing and what He will continue to do. Because only He sees the big picture. The whole picture. The eternal picture.
Dinner was late that night. I wasn’t able to prep for the next day in quite the same way. And I am so thankful. That His plans are not my plans. That His ways are not my ways.
Over an hour later we were walking down the stairs hand in hand. Feeling closer than ever before. Growing up and growing in our faith can be so painful. And so beautiful.
I am so thankful that I did stop, even if it did take my mind a bit longer than my body. I am so thankful for my God’s continuous patience with me. But I learned something that day. I learned that I have to keep my ministry lenses on at all times. In the world. In my home. Everywhere. My hearts desire is to shine my light for Jesus wherever I go. So, my sweet family should feel the warmth of that light all the time. They should be basking in it.
Sunshine Soldier 