For A Reason

Man. People want to say the right things. The perfect things. I have a sweet friend who lost her son in a tragic accident. It was so so so terrible. I so wanted to be that person. That person that said the perfect thing. I wasn’t. And that’s ok. Because someone did. And that’s all that really matters.

Over the years people have said so many encouraging things to me. About God’s sovereignty and goodness. About His great love for me. About His plan for my life and that He is going to work all this together for my good.

“This is happening for a reason.”

In those early (and very dark) years with Caleb I dreaded that phrase. What does it even mean? Well-intentioned people were always saying it to me. Ugh. I hated it so much. Especially when they said it with that look and that tone. Like they felt sorry for me.

As I have grown in my faith, a lot has changed. People don’t say the dreaded phrase to me very often now. I hope that’s because they see all the joy when they see me. When they do say it, or something along those lines, I am much more gracious about it now. Because I know they are just trying to say something encouraging.

This week I have found myself thinking about that old phrase a lot. Mostly when people said it they meant that God is in charge. And He will make beauty from ashes. Well, at least that’s how I started choosing to think of it.

In the beginning, Caleb’s life felt so tragic. So unfair. To all of us. For a season, I missed the beauty. And that’s ok. I’m glad I can’t change that. Because in that very dark season, I learned to look for the light. I learned that my hope, all of our hope actually, is in the Lord.

I learned to trust in the Lord. I learned He had a plan for my life. I learned that He would guide me and equip me. But He did something more. Something I never would have expected. Because not only did He have a plan for me. He had a plan for Caleb. Joy bringer. God uses our sweet boy again and again. To bring joy. To soothe hurting hearts.

Our Lord definitely made Caleb exactly as He intended. And for a reason. This week the Lord has brought to my mind just a few of those….

Caleb loves his people so much. So big. And the Lord knows who needs that Caleb love. Caleb has a sweet friend that is going through a hard time. A really hard time. And Caleb is a comfort to her. In his own way. In a way that no one else could do it.
Caleb connects so deeply. People are always commenting on Caleb and Alexa. It really is amazing. That big boy taught that little girl how to connect.
Caleb brings so much joy. It is truly contagious. People want to be close to him. And they want to root for him. Because it’s one small thing that they can do. To thank him for the joy that he brings.
Without Caleb, my heart would have never grown so large. I don’t know any other way that I could have gotten my unique ministry lenses. But now, I look around all the time. I see the hurts. I want to love and speak truth. A desire has grown in my heart to minister to other mamas of special needs children. Because it’s a lot. Because I have all the hope and all the joy. I want to help them get there too. And in God’s goodness, He is guiding me to those relationships. Again and again.

It has been a week. It was exactly what God had for me. And it all started with a reason.