Happiness is a choice. Well, sometimes. If I am grumpy, I can change that. I can make a choice to not be grumpy. To be happy. But sometimes, it’s just a lot more complicated than that. If I expect myself or my people to be happy all the time…. we are basically robots.
I have spent a lot of my life cheering people up. Convincing them to be happy. I was basically distracting them from their reality. I was kind of a master at it.
The details are fuzzy. But at some point I realized making people happy is not always a good thing. What people need, what we all need, is to be known.
When Cheyenne, Collin and Alexa joined our family it was exactly what God had for us. And it was a hot mess. Of course all the wisdom was there, waiting. It was in God’s Word, it was with God’s people. We just had to take it one step at a time.
We had to make a decision to know and love one another. Day by day. They were watching us. We were watching them. I could not distract anyone from their reality. Sadly, I actually tried at first. But it didn’t hold. There was just too much hurt. Too much baggage. Too much sin and selfishness. In all of us.
There was nothing left to do, but get real.
I listened. They listened. We all watched. We began to know each other. A little better than the day before. The hurts came to the surface. Little by little. They still are actually. And it’s hard. Every single time.
We are not robots. I say that to my children ALL. THE. TIME. There is such a strong desire, deep within me, to program happiness. Let’s all just ignore the storm and look for the rainbow. That just doesn’t work long term. Somebody definitely gets struck by lightening.
Feeling all the feelings is really hard for me. But what a blessing that process has been in my life. I lean on the Lord so much faster and so much more fully. I can relate to others and what they are feeling. God can be glorified in it all.
God uses my sisters in Christ. ALL. THE. TIME. They teach me so much. Through our differences I learn so much. But then, there are the likenesses. Man. I am so thankful for God’s provision of likenesses. Of relatability. When two sisters in Christ can relate, it is such a beautiful thing. We can dive deep together. Our eyes are more open as we look at each other and ourselves. We can see the blessings, the hard things, the idols, the blindspots, the what we can do different and better.
But I’ve noticed something. Most of us expect too much relatability. And when we can’t find it, we isolate.
In those early, and very dark, years of Caleb’s life I chose isolation. Because no one could relate. No one was living my reality. No one. But you know what, I wasn’t living theirs either. I remember hearing peoples problems and thinking “those are not problems!” Because in my heart and mind, mine were so much worse. And so, the isolation continued and the darkness covered me up.
But as the Lord opened my eyes and heart, and the light began shining in, I couldn’t go back. Back to the darkness. I went towards the light. And in time, I was able to shine mine.
God has surrounded each of us with opportunities. Daily. Our families. Our friends. Our neighbors. Those are the regulars. But then there are the guest appearances. We may never see them again. The lady in front of us in line. The dental hygienist. And on and on. God put us together. For that moment. A divine appointment.
I am so thankful that God made us individuals. We are not robots. Praise the Lord. But it doesn’t stop there. As individuals, we are able to relate. To connect. All we have to do is look around. I am so thankful for God’s provision of relatability and a world around us. Let’s shine our light for Him. We live in a world that is desperate for Jesus. And for connections. We always have.
Sunshine Soldier 