Henry

Parenting is so hard. I am so thankful that Ryan and I are raising our Fabulous 5 together. However, communication… it’s a constant challenge. There is so much to discuss as parents. Bedtimes, allowances, activities, attitudes, schedules, etc. The list really does go on and on.

We strive to be preemptive. We want to talk and pray through things as much as possible before they become an actual thing. That way we are prepared.

God’s Word tells us that children are a blessing from the Lord (Psalm 127:3). Alexa Atkinson. She is a blessing and truly special. And I’m not saying that because I’m her mom. I’m saying it because it’s a fact.

This little girl loves God’s creatures. She is fascinated by all of them. She spends hours and hours collecting bugs in her little bug catcher. She even tries to catch the stinging ones. Because she thinks she can win them over. She has all the confidence. (I can relate).

While we were in Kitty Hawk, we went souveneir shopping. My mom, Ann and I strolled into Wings with our precious 9. The men stayed behind. Smart. But no worries, Ryan and I had discussed everything ahead of time. We had even discussed Alexa and the desire that we knew she would have for a hermit crab. It was eminent. We had no doubt she would ask for one. I remember us discussing it at length. But somehow, there was still a breakdown in communication.

And she did ask. Immediately. The hermit crabs were in the back of the store. And they even had one with a Hello Kitty shell. I wish you could have seen her sweet face. Complete and total jubilation. I helped her collect everything we would need. And I was so proud of myself. Because I had already discussed it with Ryan. Man. We are such good parents.

As we were headed toward checkout I thought about how we would be stopping in Semora, NC to see friends halfway home. Is it rude to bring a live crab into someone’s house? So I called Ryan. And that is when I learned of our communication breakdown. Ugh. If only I were an ostrich and could for real bury my head in the sand.

I knelt down to Alexa’s level. I did my best to explain to her why she couldn’t get that Hello Kitty hermit crab. I did my best to explain communication breakdowns. I hugged her. And she cried and she cried and she cried. Actual devastation.

But this is the amazing part. She understood immediately. Because she was determined. She loves Ryan and I so much and is determined to trust us. She cried because she was sad. But she wasn’t mad.

Alexa is so teachable. We talk about it a lot. Her teachable-ness. She works so hard to understand what we are teaching her. And even more than that she gives us the benefit of the doubt even when she can’t understand.

She wants to make good choices. Godly choices. She wants to talk about the right and wrong way to handle every conceivable situation in life. Then, when she makes a bad decision she takes full responsibility for it. And accepts her consequence without complaint. And she will tell you (at length) what she should have done and what she will do next time. She is a breath of fresh air. I had a conference with her teacher at the end of last school year and she brought it up. Alexa’s willingness to admit when she is wrong. She was actually blown away by it.

As I stood there, holding my crying baby girl, I felt like the actual worst. She continued to process her disappointment (out loud of course) for the rest of the trip. “Life is hard. We just can’t get everything we want.” or “My mom and dad have to do what is best. And sometimes that means changing their mind about something.” or “It could have been worse. I could have gotten the hermit crab and then it died. Then I would be even sadder.” Heartbreaking.

Once we got back home to Knoxville, Ryan and I talked about hermit crabs again. We decided that Alexa could get her hermit crab if she would take complete care of it all by herself. I took her to PetSmart and let her pick him out on Sunday afternoon. She watched awhile before she decided. And, of course, she picked the most active one. Once she was holding Henry safely in the little container she looked up at me and said, “Thank you Mom. I know that we can’t always get everything we want. I am so thankful that you let me get a hermit crab. But I love you and dad no matter what.” Sweet girl. Such a little treasure.

If you come to our house you will meet Henry. Alexa is so very proud of him. It has been such a blessing to me to watch people’s responses. They have been so genuinely happy for Alexa. And for Henry…. he struck gold landing with this little girl. 🥰